Leaving on a Jet Plane – How Do You Travel With Dementia?

Try several short local excursions. (Set yourself up for success with our tips on coping with Alzheimer’s during a family gathering.) If these go well, then you could consider extended travel — but only after thorough preparation. We’re sharing our Traveling with Dementia Playlist to guide you as you plan.

Traveling With Dementia Playlist, Tune #1

Over the river, and through the wood,
to Grandfather’s house we go;
the horse knows the way to carry the sleigh
through the white and drifted snow.¹

You’ll be the tour director on this excursion, in charge of even the most minor details. So, plot each twist and turn in advance and develop a backup plan for every stage of your journey.

Begin with all the questions you can imagine

Getting to the plane

• Will someone drive you to the airport? If not, how will you park the car?
• Is Dad likely to get upset at the crowded check-in counter?
• Is he strong enough to ride up escalators and down long walkways? How will you carry the luggage? Does your airline offer assistance?
• Have you prepared Dad for security procedures he may find invasive or threatening? What if they catch him off guard or off-balance? Think about whether he’ll be willing to remove his shoes and part with his watch — or stand with arms raised in a full-body scanner, then submit to “frisking” by an electronic wand.
• Are you eligible for priority boarding or help to your seats? Will the airline guarantee you and Dad seats together on every flight?

On the plane

• People with dementia often are sensitive to noise, temperature and other sensations. Can Dad silence the roar of takeoff by listening to music you’ve uploaded to your phone or an old iPod? Will sipping water before and during takeoff ease any ear pain, or does his doctor have a better suggestion? Can Dad shrug off a mid-flight chill with his favorite sweater or a blanket?
• Have you checked on the food and beverage service? Are the offerings appropriate for Dad? Do you need to make other arrangements?

General concerns when traveling with dementia

• Are you prepared for the inevitable overbooking, delay or cancellation? How will you keep yourself and Dad calm when all around you are losing their cool? Can you find peace in an airport lounge?
• Is your carry-on bag packed with emergency refreshments?
• How will you handle Dad’s toileting needs? Are your seats close to a bathroom? Are you ready to change continence garments in cramped stalls or restrooms? (By the way, who will sit with Dad while you use the bathroom?)
• People with Alzheimer’s or other dementias confuse easily under the best circumstances. Hectic crowds are incredibly disorienting and often frightening. Do you have the patience and temperament to offer gentle reassurance all along the way?

Traveling With Dementia Playlist, Tune #2

Lean on me when you’re not strong,
and I’ll be your friend. I’ll help you carry on.²

Your hands may be full as you guide Dad through crowds in the concourse, but avoid the temptation to check your bulging carry-on! If properly packed, it’s your safety net during delays or if your baggage is lost. It should also contain critical items you can’t afford to lose, like his medications. As a bonus, once you reach your destination, you’ll avoid the need to dash out for supplies. Instead, relax and help Dad settle in.

What to keep close at hand

Traveling With Dementia Playlist, Tune #3

I get by with a little help from my friends.
I’m going to try with a little help from my friends.³

While at home, professional caregivers guide Dad through his everyday routine. They work together to prepare nutritious meals he’s both willing and able to eat. These trained aides oversee his bathing, toileting, dressing and grooming. Supervised by nurses, they also administer medications and treat skin tears. They’re always on the alert to prevent falls and other mishaps, too.

Caregiving is a big job, even when handled by a team of professionals working in shifts, relieving each other for rest and recharge.

Who will stand in during Dad’s visit?

How many family members will take turns at Dad’s personal care? Equally important, are they knowledgeable and strong enough to handle the job? Moreover, will Dad let them help? Could you hire professional in-home caregivers to occasionally supplement your team (or give you an evening out at a venue Dad won’t enjoy)?

In an emergency, who will stand in for Dad’s regular doctor? Where are the nearest medical facilities? Is Dad’s doctor or nurse practitioner available to consult by phone?

All in all, traveling with a companion coping with Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia is exhausting. Have you planned respite care for yourself? Make sure you’re well-rested for the return trip.

Most important, arrange to share unhurried moments with Dad. You’ve worked hard to bring him home, so relax and enjoy his company.

Traveling With Dementia Playlist, Tune #4

L.A. proved too much for the man . . . 

He’s leavin’
On that midnight train to Georgia,
Said he’s going back to find
A simpler place and time.⁴

You may conclude that, despite careful planning, extended travel and a long stay are too much to handle. They may be more than Dad can handle, too.

While you wanted to take Dad home, he probably wouldn’t feel at home there. He’d be restless and agitated because, after all, your home is not his home.

Few people with dementia enjoy high adventure

So, think of the holiday rituals Dad most enjoyed and share simplified versions with him — near his home. Start by decorating his room for the season. (Don’t miss our tips for decorating his downsized spaces.) Did he climb a ladder every December in order to clip strings of colored bulbs to the gutters? Treat him to a tour of area light displays. Keep your outing brief, whisking him off just after dinner, then returning him home in time for his bedtime ritual.

If Dad loved your mother’s baking, then deliver a batch of favorite cookies. Better yet, bring undecorated sugar cookies, and let him help with the icing and sprinkles.

If music unquestionably was Dad’s passion, find a simple concert he might enjoy: a grandchild’s Christmas pageant – a community concert – carolers at the mall. (Plan for an early exit in the event that he grows tired or restless before the finale.)

Favorite holiday movies on DVD are a real treat, too, especially if you watch with him, applauding his favorite scenes.

Rather than exhausting yourselves by taking Dad home for the holidays, find the best way to share the festivities you both treasure.

Traveling With Dementia Playlist

Title: Denver, John. Leaving on a Jet Plane. Cherry Lane Publishing Company. 1967.

1 Child, Lydia Maria. Over the River and Through the Woods (A Boy’s Thanksgiving Day)

2 Bill Withers. Lean on Me. Interior Music Incorporated USA. 1972

3 Lennon, John and McCartney, Paul. With a Little Help from my Friends. Northern Songs. 1967.

4 Weatherly, Jim. Midnight Train to Georgia. Universal-PolyGram International Publishing, Inc. 1971.